What is a Hacker?

by Aphrodite

I have asked myself that one question for years... decades, to be honest.

I've been on the Internet proper - not some weird walled garden like AOL or Minitel - for over 30 years.  By publication, I'll be 43 years old.  Rare pair of attributes to go together.

For me, it has been refuge, home, and toy.  I've got a little skill at messing with computers, making them do what I want, but that... doesn't help me answer that question.  I know people, some on a first name basis, some whom I've known IRL for years who have technical skills that make mine look pathetic - and I have never had a direct IT job, much less infosec.  I know my limitations; I acknowledge them.

I've had a domain for 25 years.  If I had an idea back then, maybe it would've been my bag since it's a perfect dot-com 1.0 name: five letters, pronounceable, funny spelling, trademarkable.  It has more value to me as a place than as an investment.  I'd be selling my house and lose my home without another to replace it.

But that question is one thing: What is a hacker?

I know others have answers, and mine is odd, but I've accepted that I'll always have the odd opinion, and maybe it provides insight into how I view myself as a hacker and why, despite my weak technical bona fides, I call myself one proudly.

My answer: A hacker is one who wishes to understand systems, how they're broken, how they're vulnerable, how they can be repaired, how they can be manipulated.  But what does that mean?

Most people associate hacking with computers.  I won't argue that.  At the same time, if you've gone to HOPE, I can guarantee you've seen me there even if my name doesn't ring a bell.  I usually just use a phone for what I need to do on site.  I don't touch the NOC, the only A/V I touch is a mic.  What gives?

I don't.

Hacking looks at systems, which are a human activity.

I don't mean social engineering, though the use of clever wordplay and convincing tone to manipulate others to allow access to the restricted is a hack in my eyes, as were my efforts to defend against SE when I worked for a law enforcement agency as a civilian.  (I have a good eye and ear for fraud and deception, and my role primarily was centered around my ability to understand the systems of that agency.)

Many things are systems.  A car is a system, though a modern vehicle is more CPU and data bus than motor or engine.  A government is a system.  A human is a system.  The mind is a system.

All have vulnerabilities.  Minds can be trained to trigger on certain words and sent a KILL command to HALT further thought.

All can be broken.  Willful external attacks can cause a mind to malfunction in the forms of depression, anxiety, trauma disorders, isolation, more.

All can be manipulated.  Dark patterns.  One-click purchases.  Auto-playing videos spiraling into dark places.

All can be repaired.  Tiptoe around a cultist's thought stopping land mines, and you might get them to realize they don't know how they got there, who they are now is not who they think themselves to be, and that they can pull themselves out of the traps.

I did so recently with a now former incel who reached out to me and repaired his mind gently, conscious of those malevolent intrusion detection systems, being genuine, kind, breaking every expectation of whom he was programmed to think adversary over three days.  That was it.  (This is not a brag, rather a mere fact, and I have receipts and permission to share the story.)

Hacks and hackers are everywhere when you start to think of the world this way.

As I said, I guarantee you have seen me if you've ever been to HOPE at least since 2000.  I've been volunteering on the floor since H2K most hours of the event.  In 2014, things changed with me and my role at HOPE and, as part of that role, I decided to implement a hack.

Part of what I do is move quickly when needed (even though I'm admittedly clumsy), take care of small things easily missed during the event, fill gaps in coverage, and welcome people who want a welcome.  It's kinda cool to do this.

But I did mention the hack.  And that hack makes me both uniquely visible and invisible.  I've been hesitant to talk about this the same way a magician doesn't show their gimmick, but here is the hack.

In a sea of people, most taller than me, most in black shirts and denim jeans, I wear white.

I anticipate a moment of realization right now, if you didn't know me consciously before, you do now.  Not a bad hack, eh?  A good hacker has to have, in my opinion, a little trickster, but that's a separate discussion.

If I wanted to really stand out, I could've worn high-viz, but that would be blinding.  This way, I stand out, but discreetly.  It's an anomaly, but it exploits the eye and the pattern matching functions of the brain.  A dot of white might be visible on a black screen when still, but a person in white, moving and shifting, becomes a blur until you focus.

That's why I consider myself a hacker.  I look at systems with my unusual view, and many things are systems.  I try to suss out or learn how they work, how they don't, how they can be manipulated, how to fix them.

I hack people.

And it's because I don't understand people.  I have autism.  I don't understand why people do certain things, I don't understand what or why I feel, and the only way I can understand is to hack, to probe with odd questions, to think differently, to play harmless games of perception like the wearing of white when all expect only to see black.

The only way I can understand is via the lens of the hacker.  I want to understand people, and maybe code the right diff file or patch to help make people a little better.  Sometimes, it even works.