The InfoSec Professional Song

by aestetix

This should be sung to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's patter song Modern Major-General

I am the very model of an InfoSec professional. I've mastered all security, from digital to physical. My expertise and training can tell if a threat is credible. And I'll ensure that my exploits are plausibly deniable. Blue Team hackers always try to hold bad guys accountable. In this my record of success is really quite remarkable. When playing CTF it's true that my teams almost never lose. Because I always know the best and latest hacking tools to use. It is important that my skills are always up to date and thus. I passed my CISSP in record time with little fuss. In short, in making things secure, from digital to physical. I am the very model of an InfoSec professional. I turn on stack protection when I set up a new Linux box. My SSH port knocking sequence comes from Russell's paradox. I'm fluent in syscalling and can speak directly with D-Bus. I write C code with objects and I only need a single plus. My custom CFLAGs harden code to make the strongest binaries. My system structure layout is superior to systemd's! I'm so elite that often times my daily life can be a bore - When I get sick of normal work, I hex edit my Linux core. I used to be a cracker once but I decided to reform. So now I spend my day job reading Hacker News and Packetstorm. In short, in making things secure, from digital to physical. I am the very model of an InfoSec professional.