What is Hacking?

by JT Gordon

Let me illustrate the great difference between hacking with a club, a broadsword, a crystal ball (yes, people in the Middle Ages hacked with things similar to fortune cookies), and those things we use now.

Modern times have brought computers our way, things that at times I think, created our planet.  Yes, I think that extraterrestrials built our planet with formulas and machines, or our so-called planet, an amalgamation of solids, liquids, and gases that has a pre-designated expiration date.  Probably these extraterrestrials had to settle some sort of legal issue - maybe our species was enslaved - and as payback, this construct world was built.  So, extraterrestrials are not always there, as not all extraterrestrials are nice or good or even decent.

No need to pay me, as I have no proof that I even exist.  You'd have to hack into a database to get my birth certificate.  I have no recollection of exactly what day in June I was born on.  My relatives are going to prey on this fact, and what I do is basically work as a groupie for my own family.  I have been told this, point blank.  This makes me an undocumented American, basically.  That is, until I am able to pull the records out of the files, which means that I will need to study computers.  I had to rebuild my neurological components after the last attempt, however, that was back during the 1990s, before "Made in China" products became such a problem.

Back then, the Brother personal notebook was just a toy, and the idea of offending Chinese and Japanese manufacturers with all sorts of barking mad intrusions designed to extract finances out of a company manufacturing products in the United States that was based in Japan was normal or de rigueur for many of my peers.  If the Brother Corporation still manufactures any sort of a computer terminal, it is not being sold in the United States, and I'm not going to be able to read about it in English or any language in the Roman alphabet.  Since then, I've forgotten kanji , which is the alphabet that Chinese is based upon, above a street punk or homeless person level.  Getting the data from Chinese computers requires a certain language skill set.

There is more to hacking computers than just buying expensive equipment.  I can still write treatments in Chinese for brainless scripts like the Resident Evil series, which, of course, my superiors in (((Hollywood))) mistook for the Rango sequel script.  Just in case you were wondering why Rango 2 was not released, the script, obviously, was not going to work.  Maybe the lizards should have written it.

Which brings me to the conclusion that the geckos are indeed the superior race, and might be responsible for the election of President Donald Trump.  We're still not sure why reptiles prefer our current president, however, these creatures are world powers that would probably survive a nuclear war, which is something science has ignored for too long.  Maybe it's classified information or something, so excuse me for even writing that, no worries, nobody will ever read it.  Delusional and classified information are almost synonymous, so, it would probably be left off as something written by someone who had their brain fried by one of those power surge protectors.

I woke up too stupid to file for my Brother personal notebook refund.  No worries, my peer group's competition from the Cornell Farm got their hands on the fried personal notebook, and probably left their fingerprints on the inside of the machine.  My fingerprints were also on the inside of that machine.  However, I did not file for the refund.

Of course, sewing machines and sewing machine networks are all computerized - it was just that whatever consortium of business is going on in the Pacific decided that us wild and crazy gaijin barbarians were going to hack their networks to bits with more upgraded equipment and that we Americans deserved more learning experiences, not more technology.  Thus began the beginning of Project Dumbdown.

There is a difference between hacking or looking at data and corrupting data.  A professional hacker will not corrupt data, however, we live in a corrupt society on a planet with a lifespan that is extremely limited, as any forward-thinking individual might state it.  Corrupting, or even fragmenting data is something that also requires a hacker to repair.  There are all sorts of ways of making data files full of things, like Microsoft Excel macros, which will render them unreadable.  The majority of "computer viruses" are actually Microsoft Excel macros gone amuck.  So, for those of you still on the learning curve, like me, there are times to go off-line, such as while becoming proficient at advanced functions of Excel.

There are ways of fragmenting data across networks, across computer terminals, across computer sectors - of turning important documents into jigsaw puzzles so to speak, or of re-appropriating data.  This is something that a computer hacker can sniff out and repair.  Sorry, this is boring, it's not exciting, it's not rocket science or nuclear power plant repair - it's data management.