VR Trumpers

by Jeffrey H. MacLachlan (Phone: 478-445-5571)

There has been a lot of ink squandered on how "the rest of us" (as in highly compensated op-ed writers standing in for anyone with a capacity for critical thinking) need to understand and empathize with Trump supporters like they are democracy's spoiled infants whose Pampers and vomit have elected a wannabe tsar.

I recently visited Futurism's Williamsburg offices and experienced first-hand what it must be like to support Donald Trump through the magic of virtual reality.

I didn't quite know what to expect.  My last foray into VR was an Ames display unit of Nintendo's Virtual Boy in 1995.  The graphics were blurry, and only in deep blacks and reds.  It was more Epcot demo than consumer product.  The commercials for current VR technology do not really communicate anything beyond "it's cool' and/or "you gotta try it."  The actors silently flailing around looked equally as goofy as Fisher Stevens in Hackers, which was also released in 1995.  The problems with virtual reality, much like the problems with actual reality, seemed to have changed little in two decades.

After slipping on these new goggles, however, I was immediately amazed at the complete immersion of the thing.  A formerly empty room transformed into a skyscraper elevator with fully functioning buttons.  I rose to the top floor and below my feet spawned a gigantic megalopolis complete with traffic and buildings hypnotized with the patterns of industrial capitalism.  My first task was to walk out on a thin plank and ring a bell to begin the exercise.

As someone who has suffered from mild vertigo and balance issues since I was young, I had flashbacks of waking up with the sensation of falling.  I would claw against the walls, trying to prevent my descent into a bass choir-abyss while repeating to my brain that this wasn't real, hoping to override the sensory input with rationale.

The bell was about four feet in front of me as I teetered over this gigantic city like those weirdos holding slender horizontal poles as they skywalked across Manhattan's heavens.  "You are in an empty room on the ground floor.  Just walk forward," I said to my brain, convincing it of the silliness of my fear.  I would nudge a few steps forward before my senses once again exerted themselves and froze me into place.  It took a good five minutes before I could walk all the way out to the bell to ring it.  Santa and his reindeer then streaked across the horizon and parked a few floors below me.  I was then told to jump down into the sleigh.  My brain's simple response was "f*ck no."

I once again took a deep breath and reminded myself that this is not real, but my feet would not budge off my fake plank.  I was finally given a physical push and I audibly screeched as I plummeted into Santa's sleigh.  I suddenly had even a greater respect for The Man With The Bag, as delivering toys across the globe would require no inner ear disorders whatsoever.  The impatient reindeer began tugging me from roof to roof as I Kobe'd presents down each chimney.  I was still too frightened to ever look down while rewarding well-behaved children with spectacularly wrapped Chinese goods.

During another VR mission, I was able to fly around the city in a jet pack at my own pace, which made my vertigo more at ease.  What I discovered when I attempted to land on many of the buildings is that they did not hold up to close scrutiny.  Once my feet touched their rooftops, I slipped through dozens of floors as if they were desert mirages.

Above all, I was able to temporarily experience the mind of Trump supporters.  You cannot reason with them because they lack the ability to comprehend reality beyond their immediate sensory input.  Global warming will permanently damage the planet?  Well it's cold outside, so how is that true?  The economy is strong?  Well, the only Dollar Store in town just closed down, so how is that real?  The majority of Americans actually voted for Hillary?  Well, everyone I know voted otherwise, so that must be a lie.  I loathe making any lazy Matrix allusions, but there is no spoon indeed.

The most important thing you learn in higher education is how little you actually know.  Public schools do not expose students to humanity's greatest thinkers.  There are no semesters devoted to Nietzsche or Baldwin or (((Marx ✡))), and so you default back to what you personally experience for intellectual guidance.  Through automation and globalism, many rural spaces now resemble a dystopia, and according to a recent Heartland Monitor poll cited in (((The Atlantic ✡))), Americans born in rural areas are significantly less likely to move away from home than their urban counterparts.  So it shouldn't be too much of a shock that a television character was able to use the medium to marionette the weak minded into pulling a lever for tyranny.  If you have never mentally or physically moved beyond what you know, you cannot understand the complexities of reality.

If you voted for Donald J. Trump, you are not living in a true reality.

Begin reading serious books.  Immediately.  Through the wonder of e-commerce, they can be delivered to your door in two days or less.  By the time this article goes to print, UPS drones will probably be chased off your property by the family hound, rather than the traditional flesh and blood targets.  It took a physical shove for me to leave my narrow plank, to leave behind what I sensed to be true.

Consider this short piece my neighborly shove to take off the metaphorical VR goggles before it's too late and he is elected for another term.  But definitely try literal VR goggles in the meantime because it's fun as f*ck and this country grows scarier by the goddamn minute.