Written in Spam

by t0sspint

We've all dealt with them and deleted them but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, they still come back to clutter your inbox, one advertisement at a time.  Spam is still an issue, no matter how well junk mail filters are set up.

Over the course of two weeks, I disabled the spam filter on one of my email accounts to see just how much would come flooding through.  To say I was surprised at the amount of spam would be an understatement.

However, what did surprise me was the structure of these particular messages.  The subjects were your typical male enhancement, online degree, and cheap software offers, while the contents of were a bit more interesting.

At the bottom of each email there were a bunch of words that exceeded my vocabulary skills, all strung together.

Words like extricable, abeyant and truculent flooded my email and peaked my interest.  I looked them up in an online dictionary and asked myself... what to do with all these new found vocabulary words in my spam emails?

Why, put them to use in some sort of poetry!

And so, I present to you nine poems "Written in Spam."

-from 71-
cellophane kabuki killers,
deduct transference pain,
ellipse the best dimension,
turnery digging,
a discernible sinter.

-taxidermist 406-
online cathode hipster,
defends the midway admittance,
anatomic and now forgiven,
forever immoral,
backplate defender,
a stanchion runt,
delineates,
the highest quality of arson.

-type 5 aphrodisiacgeneric
widespread stimulation,
relax,
scientists initiate the suffering,
causing increased disappointment,
the misconception expanding,
blood flows out,
less constricting veins,
dysfunction resulting.

-state animal-
quick straight arms showed,
money earning power,
discrete and prosperous,
confidentiality assured,
u work so hard,
pray angry human,
your "diploma" awaits you,
call now.

-fundraiser-
octal bullet henchmen,
awaken cubic cashiers,
with allotted immodesty,
metalworked killers,
desponded and seamy,
begin a new apartheid.

-defined-
deciphered impersonal software,
safeguarded imaginary bounty,
demultiplexed 75%,
truly rectilinear,
rendered,
coltish transient bewildered.

-cell phones akin-
minutes used no longer,
international fees,
contractual obligations required,
order today,
forever limited offer,
your credit situation,
prepaid.

-blue chips-
profit-making heads,
smart money players,
captured economic explosives,
speculative information reported,
60 days,
$15 MILLI0N plus,
or else expansions,
risk investing underway,
results successful,
industry sector penetration.

-cut to the chase-
online double feature rave,
each download hit just 99 cents,
friday night lights,
Wimbledon and more,
virus-free,
easy and legal,
prices may vary,
void where prohibited.

Please note, all words used were part of the spam email contents.

No other words were added or harmed during the creation of these "poems."

emitting ramify horus cute extricable narbonne heroic masonite ensemble airfare batik kitty preferred stray lightning gagwriter lone bamako consul consist galatea hijack deniable athletic pardon disparate sus kigali bitten torsion ancillary cofactor complementarity vitro curb auriga belate climatic oncoming imagen rubbish carnival foxglove alistair eden authoritative shot paraboloid marquess forensic kaplan dilatation distaff indigo malcolm subtly horsetail enough emergent stickpin decca h's rationale crepe abeyant downcast antarctica bifurcate dolores boatman disturbance claret snuffl e infelicitous devolution deferral syracuse roam tempestuous chalky christiana rastus truculent musk moon frazier allegra gross spurt boustrophedon rocket foamfl ower gurkha team grille cupric tolerable angora coinage breadboard chordate rapier rockies zig deputation embedding dorothea elevate mallow pavilion argentina airmass rutherford quickstep norfolk seagram typesetter county lookup peddle pravda