Hacking the System: Useful Connections
by Moebius Strip
In our last missive we took a stroll down memory lane - a look backward, to an example of how the gathering of available information was exploited for my personal benefit.
In this issue, we'll turn our vision 180 degrees and look to the future. Specifically, we'll talk about the cultivation, nurturing, and maintenance of useful connections, assets, and information - not necessarily for immediate gain or benefit, but with an eye toward some future time when that connection, asset, or datum might be very useful or perhaps even essential.
I have found that the surest way to put a useful strategy into practice and ensure that it is followed through upon is to make it a habit. When one is in the habit of seeking out connections and forging alliances, it is amazing the number and scope of connections one can garner in a relatively short period of time and how very useful those connections can become when the chips are down.
By starting with the four simple maxims set forth below, putting them into practice in the course of your day to day life, and making your practice of them an habitual pursuit, you can almost guarantee yourself that when life hands you something unexpected, be it a challenge, a need, or an opportunity, you will be in a much better position to take advantage of that opportunity for your own benefit.
Unlike those Godless charlatans who propose to sell you this kind of information on late-night infomercials (shameful, the myriad sins that are perpetrated in that dullard's waste of broadcast bandwidth that is 2 am to 6 am in just about every media market in the world), I will share this with you gratis, not out of any sense of false pride or self-aggrandizement but rather because it is in keeping with another important principle to which I strive to adhere: that knowledge transfer is almost a sacred duty.
Nearly everything I know of any value I have learned not in a classroom or through failure, but from the good will and generosity of someone who knew more or different things than I knew, and who took the time to impart their knowledge, wisdom, and observations to me.
To wit, part of what I hope to do here is to pass the torch, as it were, and share what I know so that you can digest it, process it, refine it, discard the parts that don't ring true in your circumstances, and ultimately integrate the useful stuff into your own fund of knowledge. So, without further ado, here they are: Four Maxims for Making Useful Connections.
Your Local Bank is a Very Useful Connection
The first thing I do when I move to a new town is visit the local bank - not a giant, nationally owned chain bank branch, but the smallest, loneliest bank in town. I open a checking and a savings account. I shake hands, introduce myself to the people, ask to meet the bank manager, give him a warm handshake and a look in the eye as I tell him "I may not be your wealthiest customer, but if you treat me right, I will be your most loyal and most vocal customer!" In doing this over the past 30 years (first time was when I was 12 years old with the money I made washing dishes at the Chinese restaurant near my house) I have never been met with anything other than graciousness, hospitality, and warmth, and I cannot tell you how many times I've received opening deposit bonuses, complimentary toasters, gym bags, wine glasses, patio sets, tennis rackets, savings bonds and the like, even when my paltry opening sums were far below the qualifying amounts needed for those perks.
Why? The answer is simple.
In a world that is fast-paced, loyalty often hinges on a fraction of a percentage point where a bank is concerned and, when you come right down to it, bankers are never really sure whether today's Free Checking and Statement Savings customer might hit a windfall of cash via inheritance or just the unexpected smile of Lady Fortune.
In short, they are taken aback - disarmed, if you will - by your assertiveness and more importantly, your kindness, in a very positive way. Through the simple social manipulation of being friendly, upbeat, and warm, you've achieved something that might have otherwise taken you many months to achieve. In just a few moments, you have transcended the numbering system and all the other trappings of the institution designed specifically to depersonalize you.
You have become a name, a living, breathing person, a new customer! to your bank. Of course, just as no flower grows without sunlight and water, so too must your new friends in the bank be nurtured and cultivated.
Visit the bank weekly. Make small but regular deposits, like clockwork. Routine, habit, and custom give the banker a great sense of ease and comfort, and by providing that throughout your relationship, you raise your banker's level of trust surreptitiously, but also organically. One thing I like to do is on or just before Valentine's Day, I pick up a bag full of those tiny Godiva chocolate hearts - the ones with only four chocolates in each one - and I give one to every teller, man or woman. Usually this costs me about $50 for the eight to ten hearts I'll need, but the amount of good will and consideration I receive in exchange for the small investment pays itself back thousand-fold and then some.
"Okay, Moe," you're saying right now, "This seems like a lot of effort and legwork on my part. Where's the payoff?" Ah, yes. The payoff.
Well, have you ever had a nice fat check to cash and gone to the bank, only to be told that "the funds will have to be deposited and they'll be unavailable for ten business days until the deposit clears." Well, that never happens to me.
Usually, for large checks that I want to cash, I go to Sheila's window. I don't even have to ask for special dispensation any longer. I just pass her the check, signed on the back, she cashes it out, gives me my money, and I'm on my way.
No worries about whether there's enough money in my account to cover the amount of the check (there never is, by the way - I put the same $25 in and out of those two accounts hundreds of times - but I put them in at Sheila's window and take them out through the ATM. Physically it's the same thing - my money coming out of my account - but psychologically and socially, it's a world of difference).
Sheila doesn't associate me with someone who takes money out of the bank. She associates me with someone who makes regular deposits and who occasionally cashes a check or two at the window. Surely she has no worries about whether the check I'm presenting for cashing is a good check - I'm Moe!
She sees me more than she sees her cousins in Fresno! And you can bet that if a check I cashed were to have problems clearing the maker's institution, I wouldn't get a hefty surcharge and a computer-generated letter! I'd get a phone call from Sheila: "Moe, we had an issue with the check you cashed last Tuesday. Can you give the maker a call and make sure it'll clear on the redeposit? Call me back once you've spoken to him and we'll resubmit it." In your average bank you have to have hundreds of thousands of dollars under management to get that kind of service, yet I get it with balances that barely top $500.
My apartment building had experienced a catastrophic flood and the damage was so severe that the building - and everything that had been in it - was no longer fit for use. I had to move, and fast.
I found an apartment right away, but with insurance companies, bureaucratic red tape, and the need to replace almost everything I owned, I was in no position to drop three months rent/security/whatever to move in to a place.
So I went to my local bank's branch manager and explained what was going on. I didn't ask for a loan but I did ask for a reference. With me sitting right at her desk, my bank's branch manager called my prospective landlord and gave her assurances that if there were any problems with my cash flow, she would personally guarantee that the landlord would get everything to which he was entitled - that the bank had been doing business with me for quite some time and that I was a reliable and valued customer. Bam! Just like that, with a minimal move-in deposit of only $250 and my promise to catch up on the rent as soon as the insurance reimbursements started flowing, I was sitting pretty in my as-yet-unfurnished but still groovy new apartment, all because I made the effort to have my local bankers see me as a person!
Your Local Grocery Store is a Useful Connection
There are two 24-hour grocers located within a mile of my home and both offer affinity cards that entitle you not only to discounts on special merchandise every week, but also allow you check writing and check cashing privileges.
Now, as nice as my bank is, they are still a bank and they still close at 4 pm. Sometimes you need access to your money at other times. And sometimes, if you can imagine such a thing, you need access to your money when you don't yet have your money.
Case in point: I get paid twice a month, on the 15th and the last day of the month. A while back, some buddies of mine were coming to my town for a weekend of debauchery, a little social intercourse with those lithesome ladies who wind themselves around the shiny pole for our enjoyment, etc., and perhaps a live sporting event or two.
However, not only was my wallet bone dry, my bank balance was also, effectively turning my lovely Visa debit card into just so much useless plastic. Payday happened to be on the following Monday, just in time for me to completely miss a chance to party with my visiting posse.
Lucky for me though, I had long ago applied for and received my affinity card for both grocers. And both would allow me to purchase groceries, pay with a check, and write my check for up to $150 more than the amount of the purchase! Two short trips and 45 minutes later and I had the money in my hand to join my friends in a lost weekend's escapades.
Since this was a Friday night and my paycheck would hit the bank first thing Monday morning (but the checks I wrote at the grocery wouldn't do so until Tuesday at the earliest!) I had what was equivalent to an interest- free $300 loan with which to fund my weekend plans.
Now, had I waited until I needed to get a little back door cash advance to fill out the forms, wait for the card to arrive, etc., that weekend's fun would have been a distant memory of which I was not a part. By establishing my relationships with the grocery stores long before I had a need to capitalize on them, I was able to exploit that benefit to my own advantage when the opportunity to do so was presented to me.
Your Local Independent Service Station is a Useful Connection
I'll admit it, it's tempting.
Drive the car to one of those Quik-Stop, BP Express, or Mobil mini-mart gas stations and you can tank up, pee, get a couple of bottles of Bawls, a cup of coffee or a stogie. It's one stop shopping, so it is, as the name points out, a convenient store.
However, those places don't fix cars, and cars break down. And they never break down when you're flush with cash and have nowhere to go.
I have been buying my twice-weekly tankfuls of unleaded premium from Leslie's Service Station for the past three years. Leslie is the mechanic in residence and it's his shop.
The gas is pumped by whichever high school kid happens to be working on the day I get there, but I always get out and wander over to say hello to Leslie, ask after his family, talk about sports, and the like. I also tip his pump jockey a couple of bucks a week. Leslie sees me as a regular customer - twice a week times three years, that's 312 visits to his garage.
So, last year, when my car threw a rod (okay, it's kind of an old car, but what it lacks in newness it makes up for in charm) and I was once again down to my last dime, I called Leslie, who sent the kid with the wrecker, towed the car in, fixed it in two days, and told me to "pay him whenever."
The Gas n' Go may have better coffee and the latest issue of Easyriders, but somehow I don't think they'd fix my hoopty and offer, unasked, to wait on the money until I had it. Again, you can see that if you do your groundwork, you'll have resources upon which to draw when you need something.
Local Law Enforcement is a Very Useful Association
I live in a fairly small town, but one with a great deal of traffic enforcement.
If you spend enough time behind the wheel, at some point you're going to get nailed doing something overly creative, bone-headed, or downright dangerous, and Johnny Law will usually be right there to see it and cite you accordingly.
Knowing this about the town, early in my experience, I went to see our town's Public Safety Director and offered my services to do a short, one-hour seminar on topics in information security, i.e., what is encryption, steganography, systems 101 (how data is stored, accessed, manipulated), viruses, etc.
The force was delighted to have a chance to raise the general level of knowledge of their staff and I presented to about 40 people, both sworn officers and civilian employees. I opened up the floor to questions and of course many of the ones I received were about anti-virus technologies, spyware, child-safe surfing, and the like.
Fortunately, I came prepared. I had handout CDs for every participant that had trialware of numerous contemporary system cleanup tools along with some instructions on how to use the discs to clean up their PCs. I also gave them my business card and told them that if they were having any issues to get in touch.
Well, from a "building up some side-work" perspective, this was one of the most useful and successful things I could have done. I got calls from the attendees, friends and neighbors of the attendees, and eventually got a contract from the municipality itself to handle all their IT support.
That one seminar, which probably took me ten hours to prepare including burning the handout CDs, resulted in me making almost $50,000 in supplemental income in the ensuing year between the work on the home PCs and the municipal assets.
The real benefit, though, is that I have made splendid contacts with some highly placed law enforcement officials. I have a wallet full of PBA cards (can't get a ticket in my own town even if I tried), I get to go to the Policeman's Ball, and last year, when my nephew got nabbed for drag racing on the four-lane highway in a neighboring county, he had to spend the night in jail, but the next morning, after I asked my friend the Lieutenant to call-in a favor, he was released with a stern warning.
In summary, the lessons here are simple.
There is great potential benefit to you in your voyage through the world if at every juncture you take some kind of positive, forward-thinking action that has the potential to help you to achieve a tangible benefit, even if you're not sure at the time what that benefit might be.
It's far better to have it before you need it, than to not have it when you need it desperately.
Be polite, unfailing so. Be humble, be gracious, and really let people know you enjoy the chance to meet them and get to know them.
For as my mother used to say, "You catch more flies with sugar than you do with vinegar."