_____ _ THE _ _ |_ _|__| | ___ ___ ___ _ __ ___ _ __ ___ _ _ _ __ (_)___| |_ | |/ _ \ |/ _ \/ __/ _ \| '_ ` _ \ _____| '_ ` _ \| | | | '_ \| / __| __| | | __/ | __/ (_| (_) | | | | | |_____| | | | | | |_| | | | | \__ \ |_ |_|\___|_|\___|\___\___/|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|_|___/\__| MONTHLY Warnen: Diese Ausgabe ohne das lustige! ============================================================================= Issue 8 telecom-munist.phonelosers.org February/March 2004 ============================================================================= ____________________________ | | | INTRO | |____________________________| Issue 8 is finally done. At least it's been less than two months since the last. Theres not much meat to it but it's somewhat informative nonetheless. This will probably my last issue for quite awhile so I hope Kyle can get off his ass and do another at least every three months. Other than that theres not much going on, so on with the show. -Idontlikerabbits Hi. I'm sorry that this issue sucks so much. The next one will be out within a month and I swear it'll be good. I have aces up my sleeve and shit. I didn't tell IDLR about them because he's joining the army like a fag. Later. -DBK ____________________________ | | | Contents | |____________________________| 1.Introduction of Love 2.Celebrity Number 3.Sparkler Bombs By Judas Iscariot 4.Improvised Weaponry By The Honorable Sci 5.Screwing With Your Enemies With Paypal by DBK 6.gjfj? By DBK & Idontlikerabbits 7.Fucking Error By liife 8.1-800-774-99XX Scan By Idontlikerabbits ____________________________ | | | Celebrity Number | |____________________________| WOW LOOK AT ALL THESE NUMBERS. Most of these people are cool and should be left alone. However, we are starved for content, so here they are anyway. Phil & April Margera - Parents of Bam Margera of Jackass fame - 610-558-0269(h) Sean Astin - Actor in LOTR and The Goonies! - 818-225-1005(h) Caron Daly - 202-664-2533 (This number has not been verified by the TC!) Steve Wozniak - Come on, everyone knows who he is! - 408-354-5000 Linus Torvalds - Come on, everyone knows who he is! - 408-238-0855 Kevin Mitnick 805-341-4555 - home 310-689-7229 - work John Markoff 310-277-3158 - home 310-285-6579 - work ____________________________ | | | Sparkler Bombs | | By Judas | | "Sweet Cheeks" | | Iscariot | |____________________________| The art of the sparkler bomb has existed in the underground for many years. Come 4th of July most people neglect sparklers because they are too "pussy" and they want something more "bad-ass". Well I'm here to tell you that sparklers will 0wn j00r 4ss!! Supplies Needed: -A large amount (100+) of 10 inch sparklers (the more the better) -One 10 inch sparkler (to act as a fuse) -Binding Wire -Trustworthy Friends -Lighter After you have purchased the sparklers, make sure to unpack them all and lay them facing the same way. Tightly pack all the sparklers together in one big circle and bind them together with the wire. The tighter the bundle, the better the effect. If you want to experiment with your bundle (hahahaha), try forming a cone in the middle of the bundle like so: /\ <---cone in middle _/||\_ |||||||| <---sparklers |||||||| Next, place your fuse sparkler in the middle, only a few inches from the bundle like so: | <----fuse /|\ _/|||\_ ||||||||| <---sparklers ||||||||| Now light the fuse and run like hell. The effect should be a dazzling one. Make sure you do this in an area with a lot of land, and not near anything that can burn easily. You'll have about a one foot diamter of burnt ground after this thing goes off. If it doens't work, experiment with your cone, bundle and fuse (hahahaha again) and try different things. If it still doens't work, your probably retarded and will never get laid because you can't tie sparklers together. Enjoy! ____________________________ | | | Self Defense with | | Improvised Weaponry | | by sci | |____________________________| I am sure by now almost everyone has read the article on hand-to-hand self defense. I am also sure everyone has gotten sick and tired of it. Here is the next step, when in some form of fight, what the next step is, improvising a weapon. There are several basic striking methods, and these can be done with one of several weapons. I will discuss two of these, the stick(generally accepted to be a 3 foot long piece of firm, good wood or pipe) and the pole(generally accepted to be a 6 foot lone piece of firm good wood or pipe) Three general strikes There are three general strikes that are well placed and keep the attacker at bay. These are a stroke downward from the right to the left, in a slashing motion, usually the strike is placed on the right shoulder of the atacker. The second strike is a vertical strike, done in the general motion of a baseball bat, usually toward the stomach. The third is somewhat street wise, but is an upward slash, usually aiming for the groin area. Remember to put all the force of your body in the strike, not just your arms Pros and Cons of each weapon The Pole is the ideal weapon when dealing with an attacker in a large, open area. The pole is to be held with both hands, and is to be brought up and around fir strike number one, allowing the forward hand to slip towards the back hand on the downward stroke. The ideal area to hit your opponet is with the final 2 inches of the pole, where the speed and power is generated enough to break the collarbone, and disable your enemy. A blow to the collarbone should be followed by one to the stomach if it is not effective. The cons of the pole are its general bulkiness, and unavailability of six foot long pieces of scrap stick lying around The Stick is an ideal weapon when dealing with an attacker in a close space, or when a pole is not available. It is held in much the same way as a handshake is held, and the top is held losely by the non griping hand. The motion is similar to the pole, but a single blow will not debilitate your enemy Conclusion: This is not any form of self defense class, this is only a guide on it. If you are truly faced with a grim event, the knowledge of this text file will not help. You must train until these motions are as fluid as any other in your mind, and you must train so as not to freeze up at the moment of confrontation. Hopefully this file will result in less phreaks having problems in this world with the standard bully. ____________________________ | | | Screwing Your Enemies | | With Paypal! | | By DBK | |____________________________| Note: This is all hypothetical. I haven't tried it and I'm too lazy to, but it works in theory and is based on facts. Hooray for educated guesses! End Note. PayPal is a very shoddy service. Their terms of service border on illegality, and they screw people. I mean, they just screwed the worlds best webhost, Cal! Bastards! On the plus side, it's easy to use their suckiness to your advantage. After a few failed log in attempts, PayPal freezes accounts. Anyone who has dealt with PayPal knows that getting accounts unfrozen is a huge bitch. You usually have to wait 180 days, even if you've done absolutley nothing wrong. Even then, you can still be totally ripped off. Somebody rip you off on eBay? Some fag at school you don't like? Find out their eBay account name and try to log in with bullshit passwords! Their account will be frozen and you can laugh. PayPal LOGS EVERYTHING so be careful when you do this. Do it from a computer at one of those snoody coffee houses or something. Even if your target does manage to get their account back, it'll still be a huge hassle and you can just do it again in a couple of days. Most people are too stupid to figure out how to get their account back anyway. I swear, I'm totally the originator of awesome ideas. Now go away. ____________________________ | | | gjfj? | | By DBK & IDLR | |____________________________| DimeBag Kyle: gjfj IDontLikeRabbits: ? DimeBag Kyle: i dont know IDontLikeRabbits: i know dont DimeBag Kyle: dont i know! DimeBag Kyle: no, i dont! DimeBag Kyle: HAHAHAH IDontLikeRabbits: mwahahaha DimeBag Kyle: uh DimeBag Kyle: so yup IDontLikeRabbits: looks like we just wrote an article for the next TC ____________________________ | | | Fucking Error | | By liife | |____________________________| Disclaimer: This article may be too EXTREME for some! Shield your children. I think we all hate errors as much as I do. That is why I would like to point out of error made by our own Telecom-munists. In issue #3 in the Intro Idontlikerabbits wrote "Why? The same as always, we're lazy and we dont care." BUT THIS IS WRONG! I think we can all agree it should be donAPOSTROPHEt(don't) care. Don't is a contraction of the words 'do' and 'not'. The English language isn't your playground, and syntax isn't for shits and giggles. IDontLikeRabbits Response: "BUT THIS I WRONG!" - It's improper to start sentances with conjunctions. PWNED@#@!@!@ Actually I tend not to use apostrphes a lot, ie. my handle. ____________________________ | | | 1-800-774-99XX Scan | | By Idontlikerabbits | |____________________________| I did a quick scan of this prefix. Only 100 numbers, but if it was any bigger I probably wouldn't want to include it. I didn't find anything all that interesting, but oh well. CCC = Call cannot be completed recording R = Rings FB = Fast Busy NA = No Answer NR = No Rings 00 - CCC 01 - R,FB 02 - "Something Sales Corporation", Answering Machine 03 - CCC 04 - FB 05 - Short tone then long tone repeating. Doesn't repond to dial tones. 06 - CCC 07 - CCC 08 - R,NA 09 - Business, Answering Machine 10 - "People's Service", Person answered 11 - Hunting Catalogue, Ordering Service 12 - R,NA 13 - R,NA 14 - R,NA 15 - R,NA 16 - R,NA 17 - R,NA 18 - R,NA 19 - Credit Counseling Service, Recording 20 - CCC 21 - CCC 22 - "This is Joshua may I help you?" (Sounded gay) 23 - R,NA 24 - FB 25 - "Dialed a number that cannot be reached from your calling area" 26 - CCC 27 - R,NA 28 - CCC 29 - FB 30 - R,NA 31 - CCC 32 - R,NA 33 - CCC 34 - R,NA 35 - CCC 36 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 37 - Busy 38 - CCC 39 - Recording "Call the Talkline at 1-800-853-something", sexline 40 - CCC 41 - "Universal Electrical Cleaning", Person Answered 42 - "Welmer Center", Answering Machine 43 - "Dialed a number that cannot be reached from your calling area" 44 - Recording "Call the Talkline at 1-800-979-9700", sexline 45 - Business, Answering Machine 46 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 47 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 48 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 49 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 50 - "The number you have reached, 767-6500, is being checked for trouble" 51 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 52 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 53 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 54 - "Toll free number is no longer in service" 55 - NR,NA 56 - CCC 57 - CCC 58 - CCC 59 - Pacific Bank, Person Answered 60 - Busy 61 - Business, Answering machine 62 - AT&T Easy Reach 800, Enter Access Code 63 - Jared Answered, wanted to give me a free South Carolina vacation kit. 64 - "Dialed a number that cannot be reached from your calling area" 65 - CCC 66 - Busy 67 - CCC 68 - CCC 69 - Recording "Call the talkline at 800-464-8900", sexline 70 - "KWF Associates", Voice Mail 71 - Busy 72 - CCC 73 - CCC 74 - CCC 75 - CCC 76 - CCC 77 - CCC 78 - CCC 79 - Business Voice mail, One of the guy's name is John Draper 80 - Carrier Tone 81 - CCC 82 - CCC 83 - CCC 84 - CCC 85 - CCC 86 - CCC 87 - CCC 88 - Business, Answering Machine 89 - Recording "Call this talkline..." 90 - Business, Person Answered 91 - Business, Answering Machine 92 - "Warranty Programs", Answering machine 93 - CCC 94 - "Dialed a number that cannot be reached from your calling area" 95 - Another "Call this talkline" 96 - "Silver Sea Cruises", Recording 97 - Person Answered, "Hello?" Guessing a residence 98 - CCC 99 - R,NA ____________________________ | | | fin. | |____________________________| We still don't like that blinking light on the waffle iron. However, we recently came across a funny picture entitled "ROFL Iron!" Since then, we've become slightly more fond of it. Send in your articles, douchebags!