_____ _ THE _ _ |_ _|__| | ___ ___ ___ _ __ ___ _ __ ___ _ _ _ __ (_)___| |_ | |/ _ \ |/ _ \/ __/ _ \| '_ ` _ \ _____| '_ ` _ \| | | | '_ \| / __| __| | | __/ | __/ (_| (_) | | | | | |_____| | | | | | |_| | | | | \__ \ |_ |_|\___|_|\___|\___\___/|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|_|___/\__| "MONTHLY" Got any updog? - What's updog? - Nothing much, fool! ============================================================================ Issue 3 www.telecom-munist.rottenass.com November of 2002(Released Mar 03) ============================================================================ ____________________________ | | | Intro of Love | |____________________________| Sup dawg? Not much be goin' down in this part of the hood. We be gotsin some dope shit for y'all this month. Sorry, I just watched Friday and Next Friday so I'm all gangstered out. You'll notice I put "Monthly" in quotes. Why? Because the odds of us coming out with a new issue every month are about the same as Linear being straight. A ha ha ha, I kill myself! What's with all these activists, though? Seriously, it's retarded. When's the last time a whale did anything for you? What's that, never? SO WHY SAVE THEM?!!? I think Nelson Muntz said it best - "Nuke the Whales." We made a bunch of badass stickers and I'll try to get some pictures of them on the website. That is all. Wait, no it's not. Send all article submissions to idontlikerabbits@hotmail.com with the subject TELECOM-MUNIST or something. That is all. Seriously. - DBK Most of this was written in November of 2002 but we never finished it until now (March 2003). Why? The same as always, we're lazy and we dont care. Oh yeah there may be contradictions or references to things that dont exist in many telcom-munist monthlys, its because at one point they did exist, or i was planning to make them and never finished, for example adam talker, which was finished at one time but was lost due to a format. I still want to finish that actually. - IDLR ____________________________ | | | Contents | |____________________________| 1. Intro - DBK/IDLR 2. Celebrity Number 3. Website Review - IDLR 4. Stupid Prank - IDLR 5. Bored? Not For Long! - DBK 6. Technical Article?!?? - DBK 7. Relay Fun - IDLR featuring DBK 8. Murd0cs Crazy Corner of Love ____________________________ | | | Celebrity Number | |____________________________| This months celebrity number kicks ass. It's none other than Phil Anselmo of the band Pantera. He's also in Superjoint Ritual and Down, who played at this years Ozzfest, so if you're a trendy fag you might have seen them. Plus, this gives you an excuse to call Louisanna! Uh, anyway... Philip Anselmo 2664 Jasmine St New Orleans , LA (504) 943-4990 ____________________________ | | | Website Review | | by IDLR | |____________________________| Website: http://www.otaku-no-tetsugaku.tk/ Considering I know shit about html and web programming, I shouldn't have any right to review a web page. I know the Telecom-munist page is pretty fucking lame but I don't care. Well, where can I start? The address. Anime is not cool, and the Japanese laungage is only cool when people are yelling "Godzilla!" or "Enola Gay!". The title is too fucking long and whiney. On top of that theres a picture of one the fags from hackers which he says to be him. Now I'll list a few quotes from the page and respond to them. "Try to find my hidden message, email me, and win a reply!! What could be better than that?!". Well, being brutally ass raped by mutated monkies for one. "I have no more time for it(the site) and my focus for it is lost...Once I get some more direction the site will be back in glory." I don't think in this sites horrid one month long existence it ever had any glory. "This is where I post pictures of friends of mine..." I know at least 2 of those people wouldn't mind shoving their foot up the site owners ass. Now on to the prank calls, well there are none. I'm not one to be speaking as of the shoddiness of our prank calls but those aren't funny. The store is a cafe' press store filled with stolen pictures. I don't think anyone sane would want to advertise the site. Theres so much wrong with this site I can't bare to write anymore. Go visit it. I dare you. ____________________________ | | | Stupid Prank | | by IDLR | |____________________________| This is a modified version of the old calling a payphone and pretending your a radio station or something else and telling the victim they've won something. So here it goes. First call a payphone at the end of a large mall or shopping center. Tell the person if they run to Sears(or some other store that is on the complete other side of the mall) within 3 minutes they'll win something big. You have to be somewhere in sight of the payphone for this, because you'll need to see what the person looks like. Get the number for mall security. If the mall has a special number for the stores to call when there is an incident try to get that one. If the person starts running to get their prize, phone up security and tell them you work at blah blah blah store and an unarmed person just took $400 out of the register and started running toward the other end of the mall. Now if everything goes well security will start chasing the victim and hopefully tackle them. It would also be funny if the victim was standing where you told him to be, confused about where his money is, and gets tackled out of nowhere. This probably wouldn't work but it's still funny as hell. ____________________________ | | | Bored? Not For Long! | | By DBK | |____________________________| So, boredom got you down? Worry not, my friend, for Dimebag Kyle is here to help. Here are some keen ideas to help alleviate your boredom. 1 - Microwave a pencil. Holy shit, dude, this is hilarious! If you've never tried it before, you dont know what you're missing out on. It kind of smells, though, so open some windows first. 2. - Internet porn. Self explanitory. 3. - Go outside. Do something. Seriously, man. Today everyone stays indoors all day and shit. Go outside. Take a walk. Play some fucking basketball. Do something before I kick you out of my house, young man. 4. - Start a stupid e-zine. Where do you think the Telecom-munist came from? A ha ha! 5. - Microwave a pencil. I'm dead serious. This is fun as hell. I'm out of ideas. ____________________________ | | | Technical Article?!? | | by DBK | |____________________________| Yup. I was writing a cheap ass technical article to go here just to make IDLR look stupid(see intro) but then my computer crashed and all was lost. Look for it next month, I guess. =========== In the 4 months we were waiting to finish the monthly he rewrote the article. --idlr ========== Want to impress your dumbass friends? Here's a simple trick that will have all your friends thinking you're a super h4x0r, when in fact you're a loser that has nothing better to do! In fact, that whole last statement was probably moot because I really doubt you have any friends. Sorry, I digress. Step one - Sign on to AIM and make a direct connection with one of your buddies. Example: XxAntiWarFagxX: rofl u need 2 see this crazy anti bush pic lmao StupidFag16: lmao k XxAntiWarFagxX wants to dirrectly connect. You are now directly connected. Step two - Open up MS-DOS Prompt. Type in "netstat -n" . A list of IPs will appear, including the felow you're direct connected with! I would go into more detail but if you can't figure this stupid easy shit out then you're a fag and I hate you. Step three - Scan that shiznit and bust out some 1337 h4x0r nuke/floodz0ring!! XxAntiWarFagxX: lmao u stupid n00bie i totally h4x0red you StupidFag16: stfu moron ill kick ur balls >:o XxAntiWarFagxX: rofl ur such a lamer StupidFag16: lmao k And that's that! You're on the road to being the next Kevin Mitnick! Or the next HAZMAT. Whatever. ____________________________ | | | Relay Fun | |____________________________| Here's a call that we did on an online relay service. I wish we would have recorded it because it was a lot funnier in person. Kyle was doing his infamous Cheese Sammichİ voice during the call and I was typing on the computer and doing some background sound effects and such. -=-=- Please hold for the next available operator. IP RELAY RO 9293F GA 714 *** **** pls ga DIALING 714 *** **** PLS HD RING 1 2 hello (M) ga IDLR: dad q ga KYLE: yes its me son how is it going qq ga IDLR: its ok, school is gettng a lil hrdr ga KYLE: i believe in u u can do good in school u know u got the head (sounds like nice) ga IDLR: thanks dad ga KYLE: well u know son uve lead a hard life but u know ur a good boy and u make me proud boy ga IDLR: dad, do you thnk u might be able to snd sum mor money for books qq ga KYLE: now son ive told u once and ill tell u again i cant send no more money i can send no more bc i had to pay for ur mothers opertation and u know u got the hard life but other peopl have the hard life too ga IDLR: okay then dad , tell mom i love her, and mikey 2 ga KYLE: i will not tell them u love them bec u hate them u hate them and we both know it ga IDLR: dont say that dad i do love them ga KYLE: (sounds like crying) the only person u love is that gay boyfriend and u tear ur mother apart i don't approve of it and u know it u hurt us all ga IDLR: well i g2g dad ga KYLE: u know what son this is for u son this is for u i be punching maria just bec u piss me off shut up maria!!! (sounds like crying)(sounds like hitting) ga IDLR:awww dad whyd you do that ga KYLE: don't be talking trash don't be talking trash ga IDLR: i g2g dad, i love you ga or sk (At this point Kyle went in to a 5 minute rant about how Helen Keller had the deafs and the blinds and how she succeded in life. Kyle says the operator was laughing a shit load and I guess she didn't feel like typing it all) KYLE: maybe some day u can come back but until then ill talk to u later u stay strong with the deaf i'll miss u ga to sk sksk ty (HUNG UP) GA sk ga -=-=- ____________________________ | | | Murd0c Insanity | |____________________________| I've decided that murd0c gets a monthly column(without asking him) because he always submits stuff. Here we go with the first one, baby. - DBK -=-= You have just entered room "Sex and the City 3." BANNSHEE109: anyone in PA bsktball070: u guys r boring UserDg1352 has entered the room. bsktball070: i am Rob n Caren: yes me Rob n Caren: pa bilabongboy 845: any ladies want to cyber im me Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! bsktball070: i said it 1st Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! bsktball070: j/k Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! TheHix59 has left the room. spaceoutlaw2468 has entered the room. Mister Murd0c: TELECOMMUNIST SHURE IS COOL! Mister Murd0c: IM NOT A SPAM BOT, I SWEAR! Rob n Caren: where is p.a spaceoutlaw2468 has left the room. Mister Murd0c: HAHAHAAH! Mister Murd0c: HEY EVERYONE VISIT http://telecom-munist.rottenass.com AND CHECK OUT OUR COOL E-ZINE! -=-= He also went into the DMX room and talked shit while another guy with the screenname "IAm4Slavery" happened to be there as well. It's funny and if I wasn't too lazy to go copy and paste it it would be here. -=-= And heres something else he sent us in response to me stating that i didn't care if you had the hack of the millennium I only wanted stupid shit submitted -- IDLR -=-= Hack of the Millenium 2002! By Murd0c mistermurdoc@msn.com Okay so you want to know what the hack of the millenium is? Okay, here it goes. It is written in BASIC. 10 PRINT Hello, you have been r00ted by The Telecom-munists, fuckface. 20 GOTO 10 There you go. As with all knowledge, this should be used responsibly. I take no responsiblity for any stupidity on your part. For more hacks go to http://roy.phonelosers.org/public/lusers/RBCPSMOM/default.htm ____________________________ | | | fin. | |____________________________| Our website is www.telecom-munist.rottenass.com Maddox kicks ass. http://maddox.xmission.com I AM /<-R4D!!! ... are you? Kinda short, huh?