_____ _ THE _ _ |_ _|__| | ___ ___ ___ _ __ ___ _ __ ___ _ _ _ __ (_)___| |_ | |/ _ \ |/ _ \/ __/ _ \| '_ ` _ \ _____| '_ ` _ \| | | | '_ \| / __| __| | | __/ | __/ (_| (_) | | | | | |_____| | | | | | |_| | | | | \__ \ |_ |_|\___|_|\___|\___\___/|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|_|___/\__| MONTHLY Where every issue is as lame or lamer than PLA001, guaranteed. ============================================================================ Issue 2 www.telecom-munist.rottenass.com August/Septmber of 2002 ============================================================================ ____________________________ | | | Introduction pt. II | |____________________________| We were all really busy this month and didn't have much time to work on the monthly(read: we're lazy) so this won't be the greatest issue. On the plus side, the word "sex" is used a couple of times. Carry on. - DBK That fucker Johnny B. broke my window. Oh yeah Kyle has informed me that we're taking submissions. Get in contact with him or me via Cal's cause i'm not in the mood for signing up for a free mail account and checking it regularly. We're both on AIM a lot too. Oh yeah, you can count them, we have zero technical articles. --IDontLikeRabbits ____________________________ | | | Contents | |____________________________| 1. Introduction By DimeBagKyle 2. Apology for our Absenteeism/Rant By IDLR 3. Sucks to be You 4. Free Phone Sex By Idontlikerabbits and some credit to Kyle. 5. Lets Build a Time Machine By IDLR y DBK 6. EBA by Murd0c 7. Acid Bomb Type Things by Kyle 8. Fax Back Number ____________________________ | | |Apology For Our Absenteeism | | /Rant | |____________________________| Things were going well for the Telecom-munists until earlier this week. One day before I was supposed to upload our second issue I lost my internet connection due to arguements with my dad. You see, I didn't follow Kyle's advice in hiding my p0rn. My bastard of a dad came in and had the nerve to touch my beautiful peice of 600mhz Celeron and look through my histr0y files. He's a goddamn hippocrit. He's got a 156mb directory of porn alone. But hopefully with a job coming soon and a refund from my college tuition i'll be able to get my own phoneline and DSL, and then our very own telecom-munist server to be rooted daily. On a lighter note I've printed up about 300 telecom-munist stickers and had a bunch of people stick them everywhere. My girlfriend overheard two kids at her and Kyle's school talking about those wierd telecom-munist stickers and what the hell are they. I didn't put a web address because I thought confusion would be much funnier. I've started printing more with stupid quotes like "Telecom-munists: California's Largest Cheese Sammichİ retailer." Uhhh oh yeah, We, the Telecom-munists formally appologize to our reader for our lateness, thanks for supporting us mom. ____________________________ | | | Sucks to be you | |____________________________| I didn't really want to go looking for a celebrity phone or anything so I just looked for someone with a stupid name. So this issues "Sucks to be You" is... Mary A. Hooker 4779 Castlewood Dr San Jose , CA (408) 252-8831 ____________________________ | | | Free Phone Sex | |____________________________| By IDontlikerabbits with some credit to Kyle Well if you're like the Telecom-munists your'e a bunch of horny 16 year olds. That means you like sex, but sometimes its just no fun without another person, picture, or voice(hint hint). phone sex can be quite expensive and your parents might not approve of the slightly higher priced phone bill. So how can you get free phone sex from the comfort of your own home without paying? Online deaf relay operators. You simply go online and have them call your house. Of course you need a second line, dsl, cable, or a cell phone.Not only is it free but fully customizable phone sex. You can tell them to say whatever you want. Heres a sample conversation. Oper: THis is a relay op blah blah blah GA You: Oh yeah, what are you wearing GA Oper: A white see through nighty GA You: mmmm, sounds wonderful GA ----Later---- You: That was great babe, ty GA Oper: Best ever,ty sk You: Have fun you stupid slut The only problem I have with this is that its hard to type, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. My suggestion is a head set and learn to type fast with either your left or right hand. I can't really see that it is illeagal either, unless the state in which you reside has outlawed talking nasty to yourself. Well whatever you do with article, we don't want to hear the results, beleive me, we have thoroughly tested out the situation and know most of the outcomes, all over the keyboard that is. ____________________________ | | | Lets Build A Time Machine | |____________________________| IDontLikeRabbits: im bored DimeBag Kyle: meeeeee too DimeBag Kyle: lets buld a time machine DimeBag Kyle: and go to when sarah michelle gellar was naked... IDontLikeRabbits:... (y is spanish for and) ____________________________ | | | EBA | |____________________________| By Murd0c Commisioned by DimebagKyle in #~> at 8:20 CST August 3 2002. Hi everyone! This little trifle of a textfile is about your friend and mine: EBA. EBA goes under several monkiers: JB00G (on IRC), Tank (On the UPL boards) and Bailey Coberly in real life. Oh wait, he dosent have a life. (Insert chuckles here) Anyway, the story of EBA is a long and ardous tale, so i wont bore you. Lets fastforeward to the good part. 2002: EBA signs up on the Calimar's Boards. Begins to post and insanity breaks out amongst fellow members. All screaming for EBA's blood and bile to be spilled all over the flordian sand where EBA resides. Not really, EBA started out being civil. Well, he had AOp status in #~>. What does that tell you. He got on AKICK list after abusing his power as an AOp. Most people on the board hate him because he just posts fuckin garbage that no one cares about. He has a vendetta it seems, against myself, Darkk_Inferno and Urza. As he posts anti-gay and racist messages on his website (toneaddict.tripod.com). Well, we put our own sites for EBA abuse. TheChoadToad's original (meddlingmuse.com/eba) and my carbon copy (eba.alturl.com). Well, since about late June EBA his managed to piss off just damn near everyone on the board including Calimar and Heywood. Even going as far as taking his bullshit to the Major Losers forums and posting shit about Inferno and I saying that he is building an 'army' to take us 'down'. The only person going down is him, on me. Mykro_Ekenomics and Urza managed to get his inphoz somehow. and it is listed below. Including his parents divorce papers. Apparently EBA's Dad told him to say his mother was abusing him. He recanted and got to live with his mother. But none the less, how fucked up is that?! Well i really dont have much else to say, but use these phone numbers and addresses to harrass i guess. Without further adeu, what ever that means, here is EBA's Inphoz. EBA: Bailey Coberly (i dont think it would be moore because his mother kept coberly, unless the info on her below is wrong) Age:14 312 Lawton Ave. Jacksonville, FL 32208 904.768.2783 (His Personal Line) Mother: Karen Koivisto Coberly Age:32 312 Lawton Ave. Jacksonville, FL 32208 904.772.1151 Father: Eric Coberly Age:42 2432 Misty Dr Jacksonville, FL 32211-4138 904.743.4717 Copy and pasted directly from Inferno's forums at www.meddlingmuse.com/phpBB2 Join them and post like 1337 little fuckers! Greets to: Inferno, Urza, scwerlmnk, Blackout @ blackoutbox.com, sybah, Emmanual Goldstien, Kevin Mitnick, Choad, Dimebagkyle, OresetesForSeen, and most of the people in #~>. Special Thanks to: Windows Notepad. Thanks for Nothing: God, Dad. Thanks for Everything: Satan. Inspirational Music: Tenacious D, Gorillaz, Blur. ____________________________ | | | Acid Bomb type things | |____________________________| How To Make A Nifty Acid Bomb - By DBK Well, I figure since all those old zines always had that dumb "anarchy" stuff and how to wreak havoc and such, we might as well too. After all, ripping off others is what we do best! See our Wal-Mart Anarchy Section for an example! The only difference between this article and the ones from the days of yore is that this actually works. Step one - Obtain an empty two liter bottle, aluminum foil, and some acid. I don't remember the name of the acid used, but it's the kind that you pour in swimming pools and is commonly referred to as pool acid. Step two - Fill said bottle a little over 3/4 of the way with acid. Take some foil and roll it up into a cylindrical shape. Quickly stuff the foil into the bottle, screw the cap on, shake it up, throw the motherfuck and run. I haven't done this since I was like 12, so I can't really remember the blast radius. Just don't stand too close, you stupid fuck. I shouldn't have to say this, but be careful and all that shit. I bear no responsibility for any accidents or injury etc etc etc. I also bare no clothes! A ha ha! -End ____________________________ | | | Fax Back Number | |____________________________| 1-800-774-9996 This is some number to a cruise line. They have a fax on demand service. At the main menu hit 4 and you'll be transfered to a fax request thingy. You just have to guess the document number it asks for, 10 seems to work for me. This thing doesnt only call once, it repeatedly dials almost every 5-10 minutes for about 2 hours or more. If you call in succession the victim can be bombarded with calls almost every minute. Just call from a payphone or divert because it is an 800 number and has ANI so they'll be able to trace your number. ____________________________ | | | fin. | |____________________________| Our website is www.telecom-munist.rottenass.com We like www.phonelosers.org and www.alf.com We don't like that little blinking light on the waffle iron. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!