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               Outbreak Magazine Issue #7 - Article 7 of 16
           '~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'


****************************************
* IRC - Did you ever notice...?        *
*                   		       *
* Written by GPC		       *
* On 20:52 11/06/02		       *
* heelflip_the_biscuit_tin@hotmail.com *
*				       *
****************************************

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT : [The views expressed in this file are fucked 
                               and are not necessarily the views of anyone. 
			       Just becausa log appears here doesn't mean it 
                               hasn't been shamelessly edited to make 'snadman' 
                               and 'Timeless' look bad :p]

	Many would say that this was the best text file ever to come out of the
publishing corporation on Ersa Minor, but they'd be wrong. I'm sure a lot of
you see the people on IRC as completely normal, but have you ever take the
time to step back and look at just what kind of person 'ten_inches' is?

	Perhaps the best example of this is chat rooms. For some reason men see
'Lesbian Chatroom' and go bannanas. Say the room has 20 people in it. How 
many
of those do you think are women? All of them right? Wrong. You really think
you're the only man in their pretending to be a woman and fumbling your way
through the spelling of clitoris? Think about it. No, think harder. Yeah, 
that's right, I bet you wish you never gave 'busty_blonde' your mobile number now 
do you. This poses some deep physcological questions like 'If the fantasy is 
there, what does it matter who its with?' but I know Timeless would just get lost 
so I won't go into them.

	IRC channels generally tend to fall into 5 catagories in my experience:
1) RANDOM CHANNELS where one person with a name like 'single_n_looking' 
seems to be talking to everyone but no one seems to be talking to him. Or there 
are a load of people all talking at once and no one knows what message is being 
sent to them. For example:
   
<snadman> but 4 real a turtle head is pking out laughing at the inside of my
          boxers so i gotta get to the pot
<snadman> piking*
<snadman> poking*
<snadman> ahhh back
<GPC> good shit?
<snadman> T-A-K-I-N-G--A--D-U-M-P spells RELIE
<snadman> F
<snadman> yehp
<snadman> T-A-K-I-N-G--A--D-U-M-P spells RELIEF*
<snadman> :)
<GPC> oui,cest bon

2) RANDOM ROOMS that seem to be completely full but no one talks. The room 
is dead, there's not a single person saying anything. These rooms are 'cool'.

3) SILENT HACKING CHANNELS where people go to hang out to be cool but are 
too scared to say anything cos they're too scared of being called a script 
kiddie.

4) HACKING CHANNELS with about 5 "l33t hackers" who are only ops cos their
   mate runs the channel. They won't answer any1s questions cos they don't
   actually know anything:

<Dumbass> haha ur no l33t, im l33t. i have AOL 9.0 from a l33t 
          underground warez site lam0rs.
* SuCkEr  has joined #ubergodl33thaxx0rs
<SuCkEr> can u guys help me with some command
<snadman> shut up lamer. i was coding operating systems b4 u were born.
<SuCkEr> look. i just wanna know how to convert hex to decimal so I can
         re-write my .ini files to redirect my IP port scan.

* Long Silence

<snadman> someone boot this lamer, he is tlking whack shit man. Only l33t
          people shud be on this channel
<SuCkEr> er, are any of the ops even hackers in here?
<snadman> SOMEONE KICK THIS LAM00000R. HE IS ANGERING MY L33TNESS!!!!!!!!

5) CYBERING CHANNELS usually populated by the following:
   a) Boys pretending to be men		b) Men pretending to by boys
   c) Girls pretending to be women	d) Women pretending to be girls
   e) Men pretending to be lesbians	f) Kids who haven't realised what it is
   g) Timeless

So, in conclusion (its been a long time comming), next time you give your
number to 'tits_bigger_than_the_USA' remember its probably a balding
perverted 50 year old man choking his chicken while he's talking to you with
some girl's used pants on his head.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 2:  [I apologise for any damage this file might
                                have done for any l33t egos. I also apologize
			        to 'snadman' and 'Timeless' for absolutely
			        mis-representing them. They're safe dudes :D]