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                             Issue #6 - Page 5 of 16 
        ³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄij

What the fuck was I smoking?
----------------------------
By: kleptic <drklep@roy.phonelosers.org>

At the chime of 12:00 pm I was awaken by a midget wearing sandals and suspenders. 
He claimed his name was Blasko but I found that hard to believe. Ya see, he had 
that sort of suspicious glare in his eyes that made me think that one of two 
things have just occured. He either just got some mad midget lovin', or he killed 
a man. Well, I wasn't one to ask questions. So I got out of bed and strolled to 
the bathroom (the water closet if you're british) and proceeded to urinate in 
the "John."

After I releived myself I then went to my basement where I work. Ya see, I don't
have your average job. Most people work in offices, or at resturants, or fast food 
joints. Ya see, I donate sperm to the homeless (hey, vagrants need some sperm to,
ya bum!). Anyway, after hours of HARD work. I then took a journy up stairs to find 
something to eat. There I found Mr. Blasko digging in my fridge. So I was like, 
"Hey Blasko, what are you doing!?" And he was like, "I'm looking for something to eat."
And then I was like, "Hey what time is it?" And then he was like, "It's 3:00 pm." And 
then I was all like, "No you're wrong........ IT'S FACE PUNCHING TIME!" 

So I proceeded to punch Blasko in the face. Ya see, when it's face punching... faces 
just gots ta get punched.

So After hours of pummeling Blasko, I opened my fridge to see what was there to eat. 
To my suprise, I found nothing but a tube of cookie dough. So I made cookies for dinner. 
That's right.... let me say it again for those that didn't catch what I just wrote... 
COOKIES.... FOR... DINNER!!

What kind of chronic masturbator, manic depressive, butt monkey, would eat cookies for dinner?? 

Well, all signs point to me. Thats who!

Anyway, this story is going no where. I forgot what the moral was supposed to be. But maybe it's.. 
When a Midget wearing sandals and suspenders named Blasko is eating your hard earned food. 
You punch them in the face. That's right.... in the fucking face. 

- kleptic
drklep@roy.phonelosers.org