냐컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴� +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ 栢栢栢栢昉께께굇굇굅같�|O|u|t|b|r|e|a|k|臍같굇굇굉께께栢栢栢� +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ Issue #2 - Page 5 of 12 냐컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴� Some Odd Dreams I had --------------------- By: kleptic NOTE: These are actual, REAL dreams that I have had. No fooling. DREAM ONE: Eddie Murphy's Conscience ------------------------------------- OK, here's the scene: Eddie Murphy's in a convenience store or a gas station or something, and he's thinking about stealing a candy bar. That's pretty stupid of him, because I'm sure he's filthy rich from his success as an actor, but regardless, he wants that candy bar and he doesn't want to pay for it. I'm floating above his left shoulder. "Now, Eddie," I say. "Think before you do anything you'll regret. You'd don't want to lose your powers, do you?" So, apparently Eddie Murphy has some sort of super powers, possibly bestowed upon him by God. It would explain a lot of things, like how he can suddenly gain and lose tons of weight at will, as he demonstrates in the Nutty Professor. (Eddie, I urge you. No more Nutty Professor movies. That kind of rapid weight gain and loss can't be good for you) He can also appear to be in several places at once, and even where different costumes! Sounds like God-given superpowers to me. Back to the dream. Eddie says to himself (he thinks it's to himself, but he's really telling me, since I'm a part of him) "Oh yeah! My powers!" and he grabs the candy bar and disappears in a poof of smoke. I groan and disappear too. That scoundrel didn't even hesitate to use his powers to steal! God's going to be pissed. One of these days, Eddie, one of these days... DREAM TWO: In Heaven and Hell ------------------------------ I died. I don't remember how, but it is of no consequence. First thing I remember, I'm floating up toward heaven. Sweet! I'm going to meet God! That should be interesting, to say the least. I've got a million things to ask him. I make it. Hmmm... Heaven is a big empty room. And God... well... God is a big jiggly jello mold. He's shaped like a huge gumdrop, and his facial features (eyeballs, and mouth) float inside him like fruity delights. He looks pretty tasty. I walk up to him (he's probably 50 feet tall and has a 40 foot diameter base) and say, "Hi God, Are you made of Jello?" He doesn't answer. His eyes roll down and look at me, and they narrow. Something's wrong. Then I notice. Eeek! The walls are all red, and the Jello mold in front of me is red like strawberry gelatin! I'm not in heaven! This is Hell! And the giant red Jello mold in front of me is none other than the prince of darkness himself, Satan! I turn and run. There's a tube protruding from the ceiling. I leap and it sucks me in. I pop out the other side into a huge room, identical to the one in Hell, except it is a soothing blue color, and before me a huge blue Jello mold with kind eyes and a huge grin suspended inside like fruity delights smiles down at me. Hi God. Nice to meet you.